Rant: my cousin's 'just buy index funds and forget it' hot take fell apart at his own kitchen table
So my cousin Dave shared one of those viral posts in our family group chat a couple weeks back, the kind that says just buy index funds, never look at them, and you'll beat everyone. Everyone nodded along like it was gospel, so at his place in Columbus last Saturday I asked him one simple thing, what happens if you need the money in a down year. He pulled up his account right there at the kitchen table and showed a stretch where he sold about $4,200 worth in March 2020 because he panicked, and his own screenshot proved the post was missing the hardest part, which is not touching the thing when it hurts. I walked through it step by step for the group: the post never says what to do with your nerves, it just skips to the happy ending. Dave actually laughed and admitted the advice worked for him on paper but not in his actual hands. Now half the family wants me to break down the other posts they keep forwarding. What's the worst piece of money advice that ever got shared in your family chat?
This fits a pattern I keep seeing: advice that only works if you already have the thing it's supposed to teach you. The index fund post skips the part where you need a boring job, an emergency fund, and a stomach that doesn't flip when the number drops 30%. Worst one in my family chat was "renting is throwing money away," shared by an uncle who forgot he got his down payment from his parents. Nobody posts the part where the advice depended on luck they already had.