Was told to 'network more' for years - just realized I was doing it all wrong after a coffee chat in Seattle

I always thought networking meant asking for a job or a favor. Last week I met with a guy from a different department and he spent the whole time asking about my projects and giving me tips on how to handle a tricky client. I didn't ask him for anything. He just offered help. Now I'm wondering if the whole point is to trade info and help, not to beg. Has anyone else had a moment where they realized they were approaching networking backwards?

3 comments

3 Comments

young.michael5d agoMost Upvoted

Honestly I think the bigger problem is that most people go into networking with this idea that they gotta sell themselves or get something right away. Like you're supposed to walk up, shake hands, and immediately ask for a job referral or something. But the real trick is just being curious about the other person and their work without any agenda. That guy in Seattle probably helped you because you weren't trying to take from him. Tbh the whole "networking backwards" thing makes sense because the people who can actually help you are the ones who feel like they're gaining something from the conversation too, even if it's just good advice or a fresh perspective. Ngl I've had way better luck just asking people about their biggest challenges and seeing if I can toss in a useful thought, because then they remember me as the person who made their day easier, not the one who wanted something.

ward.anna5d ago

Totally. I had a friend who went to a conference with zero expectations, just wanted to see some cool tech demos, and ended up getting a job offer six months later from a random chat about someone's home automation project. They never even asked for it.

emma_baker615d ago

The guy you talked to probably remembers you now. People like feeling useful and smart, so giving them a chance to share advice makes them feel good. That trust you built is way more valuable than asking for something right off the bat.

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