Therapy felt like a waste until my third session clicked

I went into marriage counseling thinking it was just going to be someone nodding and asking 'how does that make you feel.' After my wife moved out last March, I gave individual therapy a try mostly to prove it was useless. But during my third session, the therapist pointed out I was deflecting every question by talking about her faults instead of my own actions. That one comment made me realize I'd been avoiding my own stuff for years. Has anyone else had a therapy session that just suddenly made everything click?

3 comments

Log in to join the discussion

Log In

3 Comments

young.ryan3mo ago

Oh boy, that third session hit me the same way when my therapist called me out for always blaming my ex.

7

robinp893mo ago

That third session is a real gut punch for sure. What helped me was writing down my own part in things before going in, even the small stuff. Makes it a lot easier to talk about when you've already admitted it to yourself.

2

gavin_kim3mo ago

My buddy Tom went through almost the exact same thing. He walked into therapy thinking he was gonna prove his wife was the crazy one but somewhere around session four the therapist just flat out asked him 'what are you getting out of being the victim here.' Tom told me he sat there for a solid thirty seconds not knowing what to say because nobody had ever put it that way before. He said it hurt like hell but that's also when he stopped trying to win arguments and started actually listening to her. Now they're back together and he still brings up that one question as the moment everything shifted for him. It's wild how one honest comment can just crack everything open.

1