Had to choose between a nursing home or hiring a live-in aide for Mom

Last July my mom broke her hip at 82, and I was stuck deciding between a nursing home near Nashville or paying $4,200 a month for a live-in aide. I went with the aide because Mom was terrified of leaving her house, but after 6 months the agency kept sending different people who didn't know her routine. The inconsistency drove us crazy, but at least she stayed in her own bedroom with her cat. Has anyone else wrestled with this and picked one option that worked better long term?

3 comments

3 Comments

olivia_lopez984d ago

Have you looked into the tax side of this at all? Because if you can get her doctor to write a note saying she needs help with at least two daily tasks like bathing or eating, a lot of states let you count that aide cost as a medical expense on your taxes. I only found out about it when my aunt was in a similar spot and her accountant mentioned it. The deduction won't cover everything, but over a year it could save you enough to take a weekend off for your own sanity. Also, some agencies let you hire the same person privately after a trial period, which cuts the monthly bill way down and keeps the caregiver steady.

nancy_king293d ago

Oh yeah that tax thing is legit, my buddy saved a ton doing it that way.

ramirez.vera3d ago

Wait hold on, I gotta push back on this a little. The tax deduction thing sounds great on paper but it's not as simple as getting a doctor's note. Most states have strict rules about whose medical expenses you can deduct and a lot of them only let you claim costs that go above a certain percentage of your income. Even then you have to itemize your deductions which not everyone wants to do or even can do if they take the standard deduction. And hiring someone privately around the agency thing? That can backfire hard. If that person gets hurt on the job or has a dispute with you and you're paying them under the table you could get hit with worker's comp claims or even tax penalties if you don't handle the payroll right. The agency fees suck but they cover liability insurance and background checks that youd have to pay for yourself otherwise. I just don't want people to jump into that thinking it's a simple hack when it really isn't.