Just realized I was asking my mom all the wrong questions about her future care

I spent months trying to help my mom plan for assisted living but kept pushing her to pick a place near me in Denver. Then last Tuesday she finally said "you never asked what I want" and it hit me like a ton of bricks. She wants to stay in her own home in Tucson with a visiting nurse instead of moving. Now I'm looking into home care agencies down there instead of nursing homes. Has anyone else had this kind of blind spot with their parent about what they actually prefer?

3 comments

3 Comments

emma9612d ago

Really glad you finally heard her. That must have been a tough conversation.

miles_robinson2012d ago

That hit hard just reading it...

angela_morgan12d ago

Went through something similar a few years back and honestly the only thing that helped was just letting myself feel it for a bit instead of trying to push it away. I started writing things down in a notebook, nothing special, just whatever came to mind when I was upset. Gave me a place to put all that noise so it wasn't just bouncing around in my head all day. Also found that going for walks helped clear my mind even if I didn't want to get out of bed at first. Just small stuff like that added up over time and made things feel a little less heavy.