A year and change after his "Better Days" review, former CYD regular contributor (and possum apologist) The New Meat took on furrydom's other raving right-wing comic celeb in this article on RH Junior's "Nip and Tuck" from early 2006.
Monday, January 9. 2006
Nip and Tuck
Nip and Tuck
by The New Meat
Hey, people, guess what? That's right; the pride is back. I know the reason you wake up every morning, the reason you haven't given up on the internet or even life itself. It's because you wanted to read more smug critiques of other people's heart-felt creative endevours. And I'm here to deliver. I haven't had much chance for pursuing my life's passion lately, because, you know, a lot of crazy stuff has been happening in the world lately - lots of Iraq civil warring and mid-term electioneering and Pinochet dying and Bruce Tinsley drunk drivinging...ing. But like Nero fiddling as Rome burned, I choose to bravely ignore the pressing issues of the day to focus my attention on second-tier furry webcomics.
Today's comic is a lovely little gem by RH Junior called "Nip and Tuck". This strip follows the adventures of two hillbilly foxes who live in Bumfuck, Scrotom County in the great state of West Chlamydia or some such. Haha, I kid, actually they live in the fictitious county of Malarky, somewhere in the deep south. But that cheap little rimshot serves to segue us into the real issues at the heart of this strip: The marginalization of the rural south.
First off, let's get this out of the way: Does this guy actually go by 'Junior?' 'Cause with a name like that you'd think his destiny would be to live behind a gas station, wear overalls every day, and finish every sentence with a hearty 'A-hyuk-hyuk!' Haha, I kid, I kid! As one of three southerners who apparently have both electricity and enough remaining fingers to operate a keyboard, Junior is in a unique position to champion his home region and put all those nasty southern stereotypes to rest. A man who's proud of his heritage, Junior has pumped Nip and Tuck just chock full of positive southern imagery - a refreshing change from the usual Hollywood fare of slack-jawed, sister-fucking yokels randomly firing shotguns at roadsigns from the back of rusty pick-up trucks until the local sheriff says "GOLDANG IT I'M-A GONNA RUN YEW IN" and hauls them in front of the magistrate who says "NOW SEE HERE BOY I IS THE LAW" and lets them off before preceeding into the backroom to don his ghost hood and go out for a hoot-hollerin' lynchin' while po' black folks shuffle along saying "FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW MASSA" and incest voodoo nutria gumbo mint julips arglebarglebargle. Okay, the short of it is, there are so many positively hysterical cliches associated with the American deep south that I couldn't list them all in an encyclopedia.(1) And Junior is out to explode every one of those myths.
"Nip and Tuck" cribs most of its good ideas from Walt Kelley's "Pogo," and its a measure of how low expectations have fallen that I'm just happy to see a comic that swipes from something besides Sonic or Naruto. Like its "inspiration," "Nip and Tuck" is an overtly political strip. It leans to the right, occasionally bringing up hot-button issues like gun control, civil rights or conservationalism, but by-and-large Junior's pet issue is anti-rural bigotry. Everything else political in Junior's book is really just an addendum to that - the strip's resident leftie strawman, a gopher named Gilly Gopher, is described as a recent arrival from "the big city," who, no doubt, has been educated stupid at some ivory tower university until he can no longer appreciate the homespun wisdom of Malarkey's myriad rustics. But, really, Gilly's major sin in Junior's eyes isn't so much his liberal politics as his urban background. With refreshing candor, Junior abandons the modern liberal-conservative dichotomy that has too long dominated American political science, instead favoring a worldview that pits the urban against the rural.
It's tempting to laugh Junior's complaints off as typical right-wing paranoia, but the truth of the matter is that he actually has a point. Rural people in America have been unfairly typecast as ignorant bumpkins and their problems ignored by a country, a media and a government increasingly focused on the more popular and more immediately visible problems of the big cities. You might think that the days of Appalachian destitution are long gone, but the truth is little has changed since the 20s. Rural America's schools are just as decrepit those in as those in the worst inner city slums, its hospitals just as understaffed, and the sourge of drugs, especially crystal meth, equally prevalent. The south, wracked by poverty and ignorance, is hardest hit.
So, having established that Junior has good reason to feel that the world has painted his people unfairly, will this review refrain from further cruel japes based on Jeff Foxworthy routines, Hollywood slasher franchises, and Lil' Abner comics? For the answer, look inside yourself. Because you knew it all along.(2)
Anyway, the strip: Nip (or Tuck) is the ker-azy, zany brother who loves to blow stuff up with dynamite. Tuck (or Nip) is the other one. This strip shows both the brothers as well as another prominent character:
Our heroes frequently have to escape the affections of Thelma, a local bumpkin possum girl who appears to be based on Margaret from "Dennis the Menace." I know that Junior's primary experience with opossums is probably scraping smashed ones off the road to serve with grits and collard greens, but, c'mon, that looks nothing like a possum. It looks like a generic animal with a rat tail. It's got buckteeth, for Christ's sake! It's not a rodent, it's a Goddamn marsupiel. If you want to draw a possum, just remember that they look like giant freaky harlequin rats. Observe:
But despite its taxonomical inaccuracy, you'll soon see that "Nip and Tuck" has something very serious to tell you about a very misunderstood fellow:
The noble American hillbilly, the last TRUE minority. All they want is to be left alone, to enjoy their vittles and their banjo music in peace, but the cruel mocking barbs of urban japery do sting them so! Run, Junior, run wild and free! Back to your barn dances and your hay rides and the armadillo parts you found in your tractor treads! Back to your hog drippings! Back to the sanctuary of your sister's bed!
Anyway, as evidenced by these strips, Junior has a gentle, whimsical sense of humor that could best be described as "Non-existent." Like classic comics "For Better or For Worse" or "Fred Bassett," his strips leave you scratching your head, asking "That was it? Was that the punchline? Did the final panel get cut off?" For example, here, in the very first ever "Nip and Tuck," we have the world's most convoluted set-up leading to. . .well, I guess it's a joke. But, "why don't we surprise me and find our clothes?" What? Maybe I just don't get this brand of folksy down-home humor because I'm a decadent urbanite. You simply must excuse me while I guzzle some champagne and snort cocaine off the chest of this high-priced callgirl! I'll use my credit card! Do you have any non-dairy creamer for my latte?
Yeah, this was funnier when I read about it on Snopes.com.
Oh, you wacky feminists, always demanding stuff! I think the sign "Superior Rights for Women" is quite telling about the author's views on women's rights. He's probably the sort who thinks Hillary Clinton should stop fucking women and practising witchcraft.
And, again. I'm not exactly sure what group he's trying to lampoon here, but it's probably gays. Because, come on, who else would it be?
Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you see that? Dan SLANDER? Oh ho ho, I'd sure hate to be Dan Rather right now. He's probably blubbering into a gallon tub of rocky road, mascara running down his face. Ha ha! This sort of thing is "Nip and Tuck's" bread and butter, so expect a lot more strips about television reporters going out of their way to harass hicks. Why do they do this, you ask? I dunno, guess it was a slow news day.
Very slow news day.
Again with the inaccuarte portrals of opossums! They don't have buck teeth, the freakin' corn cousin! When will these horrible lies spread by the media end!??! Argh, let's move on to more dopey city folk hijinks.
No, what he's saying is if we could start a proper eugenics program in this country we could eliminate useless mouth-breathing hicks like you. It's a brave new world. Silly rabbit.
City folk totally want to genetically engineer a superior race.
But don't try to distract us America-hating liberals from the real issue here, Junior: YOUR CONTINUOUSLY LIBELOUS DEPICTIONS OF AMERICAN MARSUPIALS. For shame! In fact, just like the noble redneck, the opossum has suffered humiliation heaped upon humiliation in the national media. Take a look at THESE grossly misleading depictions!
Here's the afore mentioned Pogo. Really, what the fuck is this? It looks like Dr. Seuss tried to draw Bert from "Sesame Street" as an obscure circa 1920s racial caricature.
And Possible Possum from the old Terry Toons (aka Ralph Bakshi's Garden of Orgasmic Delights) Look, dressing him up like a scarecrow does not instantly make him look like a possum. This thing looks like a cat got it on with a rat.
And I'm not even going to start on Banjo the woodpile possum from Tiny Toons, mainly because I hate acknowledging that Tiny Toons ever was. Again, what is it with American culture where they think they can dress a rat up like Leatherface and everyone will recognize it as an opossum? THIS OPPRESSION MUST END. Do hear me, Junior? That's all we've got to say about Nip and Tuck; luckily, Junior's got plenty of other contributions to the artistic dialogue, other up-with-rednecks diatribles like "Goblin Hollow" and Tales of the Questor." Those will have to wait for our next critique, though, because I must be off to sip some merlot and wear tweed with the other city folk. Ta!
Footnotes
1 For more on amusing southern cliches, I heartily recommend "The Encyclopedia of Southern Culture." No, really.
2 The answer is: No.
by The New Meat
Hey, people, guess what? That's right; the pride is back. I know the reason you wake up every morning, the reason you haven't given up on the internet or even life itself. It's because you wanted to read more smug critiques of other people's heart-felt creative endevours. And I'm here to deliver. I haven't had much chance for pursuing my life's passion lately, because, you know, a lot of crazy stuff has been happening in the world lately - lots of Iraq civil warring and mid-term electioneering and Pinochet dying and Bruce Tinsley drunk drivinging...ing. But like Nero fiddling as Rome burned, I choose to bravely ignore the pressing issues of the day to focus my attention on second-tier furry webcomics.
Today's comic is a lovely little gem by RH Junior called "Nip and Tuck". This strip follows the adventures of two hillbilly foxes who live in Bumfuck, Scrotom County in the great state of West Chlamydia or some such. Haha, I kid, actually they live in the fictitious county of Malarky, somewhere in the deep south. But that cheap little rimshot serves to segue us into the real issues at the heart of this strip: The marginalization of the rural south.
First off, let's get this out of the way: Does this guy actually go by 'Junior?' 'Cause with a name like that you'd think his destiny would be to live behind a gas station, wear overalls every day, and finish every sentence with a hearty 'A-hyuk-hyuk!' Haha, I kid, I kid! As one of three southerners who apparently have both electricity and enough remaining fingers to operate a keyboard, Junior is in a unique position to champion his home region and put all those nasty southern stereotypes to rest. A man who's proud of his heritage, Junior has pumped Nip and Tuck just chock full of positive southern imagery - a refreshing change from the usual Hollywood fare of slack-jawed, sister-fucking yokels randomly firing shotguns at roadsigns from the back of rusty pick-up trucks until the local sheriff says "GOLDANG IT I'M-A GONNA RUN YEW IN" and hauls them in front of the magistrate who says "NOW SEE HERE BOY I IS THE LAW" and lets them off before preceeding into the backroom to don his ghost hood and go out for a hoot-hollerin' lynchin' while po' black folks shuffle along saying "FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW MASSA" and incest voodoo nutria gumbo mint julips arglebarglebargle. Okay, the short of it is, there are so many positively hysterical cliches associated with the American deep south that I couldn't list them all in an encyclopedia.(1) And Junior is out to explode every one of those myths.
"Nip and Tuck" cribs most of its good ideas from Walt Kelley's "Pogo," and its a measure of how low expectations have fallen that I'm just happy to see a comic that swipes from something besides Sonic or Naruto. Like its "inspiration," "Nip and Tuck" is an overtly political strip. It leans to the right, occasionally bringing up hot-button issues like gun control, civil rights or conservationalism, but by-and-large Junior's pet issue is anti-rural bigotry. Everything else political in Junior's book is really just an addendum to that - the strip's resident leftie strawman, a gopher named Gilly Gopher, is described as a recent arrival from "the big city," who, no doubt, has been educated stupid at some ivory tower university until he can no longer appreciate the homespun wisdom of Malarkey's myriad rustics. But, really, Gilly's major sin in Junior's eyes isn't so much his liberal politics as his urban background. With refreshing candor, Junior abandons the modern liberal-conservative dichotomy that has too long dominated American political science, instead favoring a worldview that pits the urban against the rural.
It's tempting to laugh Junior's complaints off as typical right-wing paranoia, but the truth of the matter is that he actually has a point. Rural people in America have been unfairly typecast as ignorant bumpkins and their problems ignored by a country, a media and a government increasingly focused on the more popular and more immediately visible problems of the big cities. You might think that the days of Appalachian destitution are long gone, but the truth is little has changed since the 20s. Rural America's schools are just as decrepit those in as those in the worst inner city slums, its hospitals just as understaffed, and the sourge of drugs, especially crystal meth, equally prevalent. The south, wracked by poverty and ignorance, is hardest hit.
So, having established that Junior has good reason to feel that the world has painted his people unfairly, will this review refrain from further cruel japes based on Jeff Foxworthy routines, Hollywood slasher franchises, and Lil' Abner comics? For the answer, look inside yourself. Because you knew it all along.(2)
Anyway, the strip: Nip (or Tuck) is the ker-azy, zany brother who loves to blow stuff up with dynamite. Tuck (or Nip) is the other one. This strip shows both the brothers as well as another prominent character:
Our heroes frequently have to escape the affections of Thelma, a local bumpkin possum girl who appears to be based on Margaret from "Dennis the Menace." I know that Junior's primary experience with opossums is probably scraping smashed ones off the road to serve with grits and collard greens, but, c'mon, that looks nothing like a possum. It looks like a generic animal with a rat tail. It's got buckteeth, for Christ's sake! It's not a rodent, it's a Goddamn marsupiel. If you want to draw a possum, just remember that they look like giant freaky harlequin rats. Observe:
But despite its taxonomical inaccuracy, you'll soon see that "Nip and Tuck" has something very serious to tell you about a very misunderstood fellow:
The noble American hillbilly, the last TRUE minority. All they want is to be left alone, to enjoy their vittles and their banjo music in peace, but the cruel mocking barbs of urban japery do sting them so! Run, Junior, run wild and free! Back to your barn dances and your hay rides and the armadillo parts you found in your tractor treads! Back to your hog drippings! Back to the sanctuary of your sister's bed!
Anyway, as evidenced by these strips, Junior has a gentle, whimsical sense of humor that could best be described as "Non-existent." Like classic comics "For Better or For Worse" or "Fred Bassett," his strips leave you scratching your head, asking "That was it? Was that the punchline? Did the final panel get cut off?" For example, here, in the very first ever "Nip and Tuck," we have the world's most convoluted set-up leading to. . .well, I guess it's a joke. But, "why don't we surprise me and find our clothes?" What? Maybe I just don't get this brand of folksy down-home humor because I'm a decadent urbanite. You simply must excuse me while I guzzle some champagne and snort cocaine off the chest of this high-priced callgirl! I'll use my credit card! Do you have any non-dairy creamer for my latte?
Yeah, this was funnier when I read about it on Snopes.com.
Oh, you wacky feminists, always demanding stuff! I think the sign "Superior Rights for Women" is quite telling about the author's views on women's rights. He's probably the sort who thinks Hillary Clinton should stop fucking women and practising witchcraft.
And, again. I'm not exactly sure what group he's trying to lampoon here, but it's probably gays. Because, come on, who else would it be?
Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you see that? Dan SLANDER? Oh ho ho, I'd sure hate to be Dan Rather right now. He's probably blubbering into a gallon tub of rocky road, mascara running down his face. Ha ha! This sort of thing is "Nip and Tuck's" bread and butter, so expect a lot more strips about television reporters going out of their way to harass hicks. Why do they do this, you ask? I dunno, guess it was a slow news day.
Very slow news day.
Again with the inaccuarte portrals of opossums! They don't have buck teeth, the freakin' corn cousin! When will these horrible lies spread by the media end!??! Argh, let's move on to more dopey city folk hijinks.
No, what he's saying is if we could start a proper eugenics program in this country we could eliminate useless mouth-breathing hicks like you. It's a brave new world. Silly rabbit.
City folk totally want to genetically engineer a superior race.
But don't try to distract us America-hating liberals from the real issue here, Junior: YOUR CONTINUOUSLY LIBELOUS DEPICTIONS OF AMERICAN MARSUPIALS. For shame! In fact, just like the noble redneck, the opossum has suffered humiliation heaped upon humiliation in the national media. Take a look at THESE grossly misleading depictions!
Here's the afore mentioned Pogo. Really, what the fuck is this? It looks like Dr. Seuss tried to draw Bert from "Sesame Street" as an obscure circa 1920s racial caricature.
And Possible Possum from the old Terry Toons (aka Ralph Bakshi's Garden of Orgasmic Delights) Look, dressing him up like a scarecrow does not instantly make him look like a possum. This thing looks like a cat got it on with a rat.
And I'm not even going to start on Banjo the woodpile possum from Tiny Toons, mainly because I hate acknowledging that Tiny Toons ever was. Again, what is it with American culture where they think they can dress a rat up like Leatherface and everyone will recognize it as an opossum? THIS OPPRESSION MUST END. Do hear me, Junior? That's all we've got to say about Nip and Tuck; luckily, Junior's got plenty of other contributions to the artistic dialogue, other up-with-rednecks diatribles like "Goblin Hollow" and Tales of the Questor." Those will have to wait for our next critique, though, because I must be off to sip some merlot and wear tweed with the other city folk. Ta!
Footnotes
1 For more on amusing southern cliches, I heartily recommend "The Encyclopedia of Southern Culture." No, really.
2 The answer is: No.
