A tale of David Simpson's (aka Dana Simpson's) slow descent into madness.
Sunday, January 17. 2010
Big Hot Tranny Mess
Many years ago, a young, far-left leaning lad named David began an innocent, fun little comic called Ozy and Millie. While not a great work by any means, it was a pleasant strip following the adventures of various grammar school-aged self-inserts and similar bullies and strawmen. While attending Evergreen State College, which treats all students as though they are special an unique (not unlike kindergarten), David's comic was granted limited legitimacy by being published in the school's paper, and eventually found itself on the Internet, where it found its most vocal and widespread fan base. The Internet has always been home to the same sort of nerdy social outcasts who fled to it for solace and solidarity, and when Ozy and Millie first went online, they still made up the vast majority of Internet users. A comic about quiet, quirky, precocious youngsters being harassed by big dumb jocks simply couldn't lose in such an environment.
As the years went on, David managed to present a clean-cut and innocent image to the world through his comic, all while happily wallowing within the depths of the furry fetish subculture. Indeed, although his primary reader base consisted of other furries, many believed him to be somehow untainted by his association, and David himself merely basked in the attention and his perceived moral superiority to the unwashed masses. In time, David became something of an untouchable sacred cow within the furry fetish scene; a forum dedicated to his web comic ensured a steady crowd of sycophants, primed to shout down any ill words or criticism while simultaneously providing an unending stream of praise (and to a lesser extent, cash) to the artist himself. This afforded David the chance to pursue the gay liberal furry dream, which he achieved by dragging his boyfriend to the Seattle area, pressuring him into obtaining a high-paying position, and turning his comic from a hobby to his primary 'job', if one can call it that.
However, cracks began to appear in this idyllic facade. Like most liberal types during the Bush years, David had opinions about the government, and gosh darn it, people were going to listen to them. From atop his Internet soap box, David created a second comic to express his oh-so-important political views in an absurd attempt to merge single-panel Op-Ed-style political comics with multi-panel gag-a-day-style strip comics. But even that wasn't enough for David. Convinced that not enough people were aware of his opinions on Bush, et al., he began slipping the overflow of his political anguish into Ozy and Millie. Similarly, he found himself unable to contain his furry fetishes within the confines of the Mucks (and later, Second Life), and these too began to appear within the once innocent comic. It was subtle at first, and for those who are still unaware of some of the proclivities of the author, such slips can be easily overlooked. Additionally, as Rule 34 and its corollary tell us is inevitable, pornography of the characters from Ozy and Millie appeared around the Internet. Although he has vehemently denied having a hand in any of it, it is not a stretch to imagine David himself having created at least a few of these images in the manner of Eric Schwartz and his 'pornsona' TDK.
Some time during all this mess, David had created another character he named Raine. Raine was some manner of female dog, a mongrel mixture of the artist's inability to properly render a particular breed. Raine was also - more so than his comic or muck characters - David's 'personal furry'. In some circles he went by the nickname of 'Raine', and dreamed of a time when his back story for the character (which had all the subtlety, emotion, and nuances of Max Blackrabbit's hilariously inept attempt to create a back story for the 'ZigZag' character) could be transformed into a new webcomic with all the readership, popularity, and fanatical sycophancy of Ozy and Millie. Test sketches appeared from time to time, and were summarily ignored by his fan base, or ridiculed and quickly forgotten by others.
Trouble began some time in early 2006. A former operative of Viv's predecessor site noticed the political undertones appearing in David's comic, and began to suspect more sinister furry fetish undertones had begun to filter in. With a bit of digging, said operative uncovered David's Muck characters (primarily an underage female skunk), and favorite role-play fetishes (primarily shaving, which is simultaneously hilarious, disturbing, and absurd for a furry). In case you missed that, David liked to role play as a prepubescent little girl furry who enjoyed being shaved. To put it in an even larger context, one recurring theme appearing in David's supposedly-innocent comic, whose primary characters were a pair of pre-teen furries, involved one of them 'accidentally' shaving all the fur off the other. If you don't see something at least the smallest bit wrong about that, you may want to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist.
At the same time, the aforementioned operative had managed to convince David's boyfriend he was an old acquaintance, affording him the opportunity to meet, befriend, and gain additional details from David himself. Among these were the unhealthy obsession David possessed with Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons. An obsession so intense that David truly believed, not only that he and Matt were 'spiritual siblings', but indeed that the character of Lisa Simpson was based on (and continued to be based on) the life of David himself. So strong was the Lisa obsession that David began to believe himself to be 'truly female'; and with that, David's path of mediocre Internet success turned sharply toward madness.
In May 2006, what is quite likely the most hilarious series of events to ever involve David took place. Hulking tub-of-lard and frequently annoying CYD member Sian Silverhair posted in their forums a thread titled, "D.C. Simpson wants a uterus", with a link to David's LiveJournal in which he declared himself to be a woman, and demanded to be henceforth known as 'Dana Clair Lisa Simpson.' Furry friends and various other sycophants flooded to the LJ to comment in support, while on CYD the thread turned from indifference to infighting back to indifference, and was eventually locked by a moderator. Not satisfied with this outcome, a number of artistically inclined CYD members, on the urging and suggestions of the previously mentioned operative, took up their implements of creation to give David the mocking he so richly deserved. The reaction was better than anyone could've hoped for. The mocking parody art quickly found its way around the Internet, bringing attention to the absurdity of David's life and actions, and drawing both laughter from trolls and outrage from sycophants. David himself vanished from the net for a time; the still-undercover operative discovered that the man of the hour had fled the big scary Internet to seek shelter with his parents on one of the islands of the Puget Sound. Upon returning, David made another LiveJournal entry, this one including a hilarious and absurd comic with each of his self-insert characters talking about how oh-so-hurt he was, and how parody art was like being groped on a subway. The post and associated comments reached critical comedy mass when one sycophant used the phrase 'soul rape' seriously and unironically; and the event opened the flood gates wide for a steady, if small, stream of future trolling.
THIS IS SOUL RAEP and also hilarious, but most importantly, more effort than David himself has ever put into anything.
After some time, it seemed the available comedy potential had diminished beyond the critical effort/result threshold, and while the CYD operative continued to subtly gather information and troll David offline, few, if any, further comedy events transpired. David began to take his declaration of transgenderism seriously, or at least as seriously as someone whose psychiatrist repeatedly denied them hormone replacement therapy can do so. Although never definitively proven, rumors circulated of David obtaining and utilizing hormones from Canada without prescriptions; the continued decline in his mental state seems to lend some potential truth to this.
In early 2007, David aka Dana decided to embrace his filthy furry side, effectively coming out to the world during Further Confusion in January. A picture of the Raine character, naked, shaved, and sporting the sort of horrifically bad anatomy that only a furry could create, began to circulate the Internet, with David himself claiming credit. The CYD operative unfortunately blew his cover at this point, being called out by David's boyfriend and effectively cut off from continued first-person information via said boyfriend's paranoid obsession with 'protecting' David from the evils of the Internet. Around this time, David also announced he was ending the Ozy and Millie comic, to finally pursue his dream story of Raine, a ham-handed attempt to compare his easy, idyllic, upper-middle-class life with the hardships of an MtF transgendered person.
Ozy and Millie finally ended in mid-2008, with the Raine saga beginning around the same time. The new comic was almost immediately called out for the dreck it was, almost universally panned among all but the most die-hard sycophantic friends and fans of the author. So bad was the comic that even the dedicated Ozy and Millie fan forum couldn't stomach it, and in another fit of drama and hilarity, David publicly 'disowned' the forum for daring to speak ill of his work. As of this writing, the comic is still ongoing, though sporadically updated once every month or two, with each page more absurd than the last. Rumors abound of David's plans to bring back the cash cow of Ozy and Millie, though it is highly doubtful he could recapture the original charm or fan base the comic once garnered.
As a new decade dawns, David continues his march to madness, living in an absurd dream world of popularity and success. His transition has been shaky at best, horrifying at worst, as he appears in public as more of a cross-dresser with a permanent 5-o'clock shadow than anything else. He speaks in a hilarious falsetto around strangers, sliding back to his usual liberal whine in private, and may or may not have managed to raise enough funds through his remaining fans to have gender reassignment surgery. His still-rabid sycophants managed to Zerg Rush an Internet contest to have a comic published, granting him the most hollow of victories for yet another new comic called 'Girl', though it remains to be seen if that will ever come to fruition.
If power begets corruption, then popularity begets madness, and David Simpson is a fantastic example of this. His idyllic childhood, coddling family, overprotective boyfriend, rabid sycophants, and choice of an all-accepting fetish subculture provided a gold-lined red carpet straight into that elite soiree we call crazy, allowing him to create a safe little world insulated from reality. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving liberal furry fucktard.
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